i think these two are just frowning. does that mean they’re not presidential material? can the frownsmile identify the next president?Contributed by Loyal Reader, Abbye.

I return to the former bishop’s frownsmile to remind everyone what the real, true, frownsmile is.  The wonderful comments on the last post showed us how much people care about the frownsmile– and this I appreciate.  I want to clarify a few key points:

1) frownsmiles mean that the corners of the mouth are turned down, even if ever so slightly.  but they MUST NOT BE TURNED UP, even if ever so slightly.  Note that the unnamed priest on the right has SLIGHTLY upturned corners (though this is not the only thing that keeps him from being a frownsmiler).

2) The frownsmile must betray NO traces of unmitigated joy.  The priest on the left looks like he’s filled with happiness.  Like Santa Claus just filled his stocking with a whole bunch of chocolate.  The frownsmile is never filled with happiness.  Contented? Yes.  Mildly amused?  Perhaps.  Ecstasy?  Never.

3) The frownsmile is generally a closed-mouth affair.  Have I seen an open-mouthed frownsmile?  Yes, but they are VERY RARE.   Most open-mouthed smiles are smiles, not frownsmiles (see priest to the right).

4) Although the frownsmile is largely about the inner-workings of the mind, the frownsmile is not ONLY about what people are thinking.  The frowsmile may originate in a feeling, but it must meet the mechanical requirements of frowning with the mouth, but smiling with the eyes.

Now this here frownsmile, provided by Sister Sarah, sparked a little debated between Mr. and Mrs. Frownsmile. Mrs. Frownsmile was unsure as to whether it qualified (note that the mouth is not turned down very much at the edges [the true frown indicator]). Mr. Frownsmile pointed out that the Diane Sawyer frownsmile (see earlier post) was strikingly similar, and Mrs. Frownsmile had said of that one, “It doesn’t get much frownsmilier than this.”

Dear readers, IS this a frownsmile or not? More or less frownsmilier than Diane Sawyer?

Perhaps being a president forces one to frownsmile more than the average citizen. Perhaps a bit of “I’m happy with those who like me in office, and I sympathize with those who hate me in office.”

Observe: Clinton has two very different frownsmiles (Auntie M. provided one, and Sister Sarah provided one). One is more of a grimace, eh? Now, dear family readers, who provided which one?

Donald Wuerl, former Catholic Bishop of Pittsburgh, courtesy of my mother.

Quiz:

Bishop Wuerl is thinking:

a) Admit it, you’re envious of this phat-daddy hat I get to wear.

b) I know what you’ve done wrong… I was on the other side of the confessional that fateful day.

c) I got the magic stick!

d) fill in your own notion in the comments section!

Diane Sawyer was probably frownsmiling on her first day of school. I can just see her sitting down on the bus next to another neophyte, but smiling as if to say, “I understand your anxiety, but we’re going to pull through this one together, kiddo.”

Is this frownsmile really a natural one? Or perhaps DS spends hours in front of the mirror getting the look down. I don’t know.

What I do want to know is whether the frown smile is, well, attractive?!?!?! I mean, is it even remotely alluring to frownsmile at someone?

(Thanks again to ktlou for providing this shining example of frownsmilehood.)

The most sinister frownsmiler of all? Or maybe just the most vacuous?

However you feel about America’s most high-profile frownsmiler, it looks like George W. Bush is ready to compete with the best of them. Man! What a frownsmile!

Here starts the string of frownsmiles brought to you by frownsmile. Really, this one is brought to you by frownsmile’s sister, ktlou.

Robin seems to have a truly genuine frownsmile on her face, one that unselfconsciously comes from within. Her eyes are lively and amused, but she is holding back. She seems to be gazing at someone, and trying to empathize with whatever they are saying. She wants to show her support to whoever it is. Maybe she’s just bored though. The frownsmile REALLY comes out when people are bored.

So now YOU tell ME! What feeling provoked this f.s.?

I’m offended.  Shocked & annoyed.  I googled frownsmile, only to find this blasphemous site:

  http://www.flickr.com/groups/frownsmile/

This group or person has (in my opinion) mistaken the frownsmile for the smilefrown.  CLEARLY the individuals pictured are making sad/angry/mean faces, covered by a smile.  Thus, they are properly “smilefrowners”–as the last word of the compound word is the lasting sentiment.  Am I crazy?   Or, do you feel the same way?

Anyway, their instructions for producing a frownsmile are all wrong.  They are mechanical and tell you what to do with your face.   We who know, know that the frownsmile is first and foremost a feeling, then an expression.

Do you have a frownsmile? Do you love someone who does? Is there a major figure in your life (former music teacher, bishop of pittsburgh) who flaunts a frownsmile?

How does the frownsmile make you feel? How does the frownsmiler herself/himself feel?

Find answers to these questiosns and more at frownsmile.wordpress.com.